Today, I suddenly smiled when I read a quote from Henry Bromell in his Northern Exposure, The Big Kiss, dated 1990:

Sometimes when you look back on a situation, you realize it wasn’t all you thought it was. A beautiful girl walked into your life. You fell in love. Or did you? Maybe it was only a childish infatuation, or maybe just a brief moment of vanity…

Ladies and gentlemen, the itisjan03 just finished our BBQ activities at Mat’s house. It’s good to be together again. It’s good to let myself loose again. It’s good to be able to laugh heartily again. It has been a while since I got to laugh and smiling and sharing updates with my dear itisjan03.

Even though the time limits me to open up just for a little, but it was satisfying. Having been quite uptight with routines and works, it was also an opportunity for me to not be a robot again. To be happy again.

Not to say that I am not happy with my current life.. but.. today did flash some additional colours to it…

This might not be realized by many people, in fact; I can safely assume that nobody noticed anything different with me. Well, I am not blaming anybody – having been in a prison made by myself, it must been hard for me to express myself as bold as before.

Or maybe its too early? Maybe I was just afraid? Maybe it was the consequences of the past? Or maybe I am just a chicken now?

Sigh. It’s been a while since I got to feel this kind of vanity, but I got to admit, the feeling was marvelous. It’s only the glimpse of her under the evening sun, but, it was heaven..

Or maybe the sun played its trick on my eyes?

Gah. I need to let this out of my chest. So here goes..

Ku tahu ku belum bersedia lagi,
Tak ku bersolek membawa diri,
Tapi ku tersentak melihat kuasa Illahi,
Sungguh! Terasa sempurna ini hari..

Pandai sungguh diri dibawa,
Tidak menghukum, berfikiran terbuka,
Ringan mulut beramah mesra,
Menarik caramu, aku tergoda!

Terkancing mulutku tertunduk pandanganku,
Rendah rasa, malu dan kelu,
Di celah gelak hebat gegar tawaku,
Tercuit hati di lirik mataku..

Bukan ku gila sampai tak lalu makan nasi,
Bukan itu yang ku mahukan sebagai impresi,
Tapi tak ku nafi bila ku sendiri,
Tersenyum meleret cuba mengingati..

Ku sedar ini cuma fantasi,
Yang telah terlalu lama tak ku rasai,
Walau hanya sekelumit ruang yg terisi,
Tetap ku abadikan di dalam memori..

Terima kasih sahaja yang mampu ku ucapkan,
Hidupku hari ini telah sedikit kau warnakan,
Tidak ku mengharap ku jumpa lagi di masa hadapan,
Ku faham ini hanya tarikan luaran..

And I played this song again and again for today….

I let my guard down for you,
And in time you will too..

And if you don’t mind, can you tell me all your hopes and fears,
And everything that you believe in,
Would you make a difference in the world?
I’d love for you to take me to a deeper conversation,
Only you can make me..

Yuna – Deeper Conversation

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7atfqr65uUo&hl=en]

Oh I don’t know why.. but I keep on smiling for today..

Wicked.

P/s: Enol, sorry but I just got to answer your “question” previously with a childish laugh.. ;p