Posts Tagged ‘Emotion: Thoughts’

>>> The Unexpected Question <<<

April 7th, 2008
Apologize to my reader (if left, any) for my long disappearance. I just need some alone time to sort things out. Sometimes too many things happened can be quite a turbulence too. Yes, I’ve been busy.

Also, sorry if my post previously sounded sad or unhappy or whatnot. Up to the extent some of the peeps said that I am quite reserved. Truth been said, I gotta admit that. I think I have lost the personal “Dr. Love” touch that was once my legacy. What to say? Bitterness crumbs still there.

People says that my post is getting technical, and no more personal..

So I am getting a little bit personal this time. Anyway, a quick update first of what have been happening around me at this point of my disappearance time…

  • I got a ThinkPad. That means a good thing (I am now mobile) and a bad thing (workload increase as expected)
  • I went to MMU for the Academic Initiative. It was fun and it was a whole new experience to give a presentation in front of enthusiastic students + lecturers.
  • I also went to MMU for their charity concert. Got to hang out with my cousin’s friend and watch a good concert (apart from the unorganized event flow)
  • Went to Euphonious 2008 and I enjoyed it with all my friends there. Not going to post much about that – you can refer to here, here, here, here and here.
  • Went to Dilla’s wedding with itisjan03 – enjoyed it as well to see all the familiar faces again.

Just some pictures to spice up the post:

L to R : Jakas, Megi, Muner, Me (yes I know my hair is getting longer LOL)

Dilla’s wedding – picture stolen from Shah’s blog (I am still waiting the picture of the couple with the itisjan03….)

Okay, we’re cool? So here’s the personal part. This happened on the way back to Kuala Lumpur after Dilla’s wedding. In the car was me (driving), Zhu, Jamie, and Intan M. Conversation happened as below:


Jamie: Adek, ko bila pulak nak kawen? (Translation: Adek (referring to my nickname), when’s your time to get married then?)

Me: Aku single lagi, tadek calon, camne nak kawen? (Translation: I am still single, no candidates for wife, how to get married?)

Intan M: Oooo.. so, kalau camtu, apa kriteria perempuan yang ko nak? Meh kita tolong calon-calonkan.. (Translation: Ooo.. so, if that’s the case, what’s the criteria that you’re looking for a girl? Let me try to find the candidate..)

Me: ………………

Seriously, I don’t know what to say that time! So they started asking questions and I just throw out any answers that I have in mind at that time. So nice of you, Intan and Jamie! tongue . For that, I made a promise to myself to blog about this.

Well, I did blog about the dream girl that I wanted in this post long ago, but as my favourite saying goes: “What we are is always the same, but who we are, will never stop changing“..

And I’ve changed. A lot. A whole damn lot to the extend of being “sinister”, as Jep put it.

So here goes a new list of criteria for the dream girl of mine.


The Physical:

1) Pretty face. Fair, yellowish skin is an advantage. Not too whitey please, because that’s a corpse. Oval face, or elliptic shape is preferred. I hardly fall for circle round / square face shape due to the lack of “femininity” in my standard.

Having said that, not much explanation needed. In simple term, as far as the face can be soothing to look at, as far as I can feel the serenity in the face, that’s enough. You can refer to my exes faces to know my taste. LOL.

2) Not too tall, not too skinny – a model shape is a big no no. As explained in my previous criteria, I am short and I don’t feel comfortable should I have to look up everytime I stand besides her. 1.6m is the maximum height, I guess. As per not too skinny, I don’t like somebody who doesn’t have any weight at all. But not too fat as well.

Having said that, it is more or less the suitable, healthy shape that’s more important. A big boob is surely appealing, but that’s not really my type so girls, you don’t have to go for an implant.

3) Veiled or no veiled. I don’t mind this at all. You can wear veil, or you can free your hair. This goes for any other things like – wear glasses or not, short hair or long hair, blonde or brunette or black hair etc.

This thing has no effects on my decision.

Easy huh? I am not too adamant in selecting the physical. As long as you’re cute or sweet or feminine or gentle, that’s the girls type I like. But, its the mental or attitudes that always bother me. That is what important. Read on..

The Mental / Attitude:

1) old;font-style:italic;color:rgb(204,204,204);">Loyal. I have trusts issues with my previous ex. The thing is, I live my life with principles. I know that I need to sacrifice when I am in a relationship. I know that I need to limit myself when I am in a relationship. And that’s what I expected in return when I am in a relationship.

I am not easily jealous if the principals are being held true. But once broken, my insecurities will seep in, and to hell you’ll go…
<
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/>2) old;font-style:italic;color:rgb(204,204,204);">Can be mentally challenged. Because I have principles, I like people who have their own thoughts and opinions too. Someone that I can argue points with. Someone that I can discussed with. Someone that is not afraid of saying their points, and one who can backed up their points with facts or proves or alibis. Someone who knows things apart from fashion statement or pop gossips.

Again, this was a problem with my exes. A rule of thumb, I am not always right, but you got to prove me wrong.

3) old;font-style:italic;color:rgb(204,204,204);">One who not change me to who I am not. This is as similar in the previous criteria. Don’t ever try, because I won’t do it. I am a heavy smoker, a believer of freedom of speech, a bookworm, a geek, a philosopher, loves catchy music from rock to jazz to pop to indie, loves words, a chivalrous romantic, a long hair person and a perfectionist.

Having said that, I despise people who commented things that cannot be changed. Those are fixed, not variables. Yes you can still jokes about that to me, but there’s a thin line between jokes and commenting.

4) Open minded. I know you’re a girl and you have all the femininity inside you, but I tend to be harsh and egoistic at times. My view on the world is radical. I am a skeptic. I believe that I have rooms, and so do you. I believe that everyone has their own evil, so I need to be “evil” on certain matters. Even though it sounds ironic to the fact that I am a chivalrous romantic, I can’t deny that when I curse, I curse hard.

5) Has confidence. This doesn’t mean that you cannot go to me to blabber about your nervousness or your worry, but I hate to repeat the same advise. When I’ve said it, then that’s it. Up to you to hold your heads high. It turned me off to see one who still have “but..”, “but..” in an endless repetition.

Just ask how many close friends of mine that have been laughed in the face by me when they repeat their own mistake? Almost all. You know the things, but you still have doubts. I am not going to be so gentle on that. So gain your confidence.

6) A bit of romantic and attentive. As said previously, I am a chivalrous romantic person. I can and I will give you all the attentions needed. But I am also a person that need attention as well as the love being said. So I expect to get the similar return of what I always done.

It’s bored to give but has nothing to take, right? But again, not too much lovey dovey. Spare me some time and room. Refer to #4.

Also, a little bit of talkative is also good. That’s what I called attentive. I am not a good conversation starter.

So, there goes my criteria. I think that’s what compatible with me. Jamie, Intan M, you got a candidate for me? old;font-style:italic;">*winks*old;font-style:italic;">

Or any girls out there wanted to offer yourself? tee hee hee.

>>> Polaroid <<<

March 18th, 2008
There’s been a lot of things happening around me, and unto me; happiness of the people (psst.. Enol, congrats for finding “it” *winks*), success upon me (whee! I got a ThinkPad! Finally!), marriage among my friends (Dilla, you’re the first itisjan03 to be married. Congrats!) and much more other stuffs.

But still, when the nights creeping upon the world, swallowing the lights unto the darkness, it kills the mood to write about all the happiness that once, coloured the life in the morning.

Which heart doesn’t get lonely?

I’m calculating what’s left inside..
When everything I left were my life and my dreams..
And every time you were proud of what, you’re not..
This is the truth and it’ll be a history

And the memories will be playing wild to ring under the head. The destruction that it brings, the sorrow that it sow, the anger that still grow..

I gave you everything, I gave up my life and they were all for you..
you’ve ruined everything!
I gave you everything and I gave up my life
And it was all for you!

Even the most idiotic douchebag, will try to unearth the truth; which sometimes.. never there..

I wonder why it became like this,
when I’m not very sure (No, I’m not very sure)
After all the crossings we’ve been through,
it’s not suppose to be like this. Why?

Thus; it will swirl and twirl and round in a circle; with wrath putting a slam, and shaken the conscious.

And every time you’re fucking proud of what you’re not
I hate the truth but still it’ll be a history

But the questions never end. Until you realized, you were thinking of something, that is so past.

Is it worth for it to occupy your mind?

It’s even for me,
It’s even for you
Just trying to understand…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mygDdZa3Lfg&hl=en]

Courtesy to Yuna: Polaroid (cover Oh Chentaku!)

P/s: Chunna, ko la nih! Kan dah puitis aku di malam hari!

P/p/s: But still, Yuna‘s so talented to cover that song to be melodramatic. You’re the goddess, Yuna!

P/p/p/s: First post from my ThinkPad! Yeay!

>>> Academic Initiative & The Power of Knowledge <<<

March 3rd, 2008
The image above is a screen shot of keywords from my Nuffnangs. It shows me the keyword that people google to reach my blog here.

OMG! Someone was googling my real name!

LOL. I think I can point it out. Someone from MMU was googling me to know who I am. I am supposed to give a talk on a seminar entitled “Introduction to ZendCore“. For your information – ZendCore is a company who has been bought by IBM because of the capability of its software to integrate DB2 with PHP.

Ehe.. sorry.. not a lengchai maa!!

More or less, its actually a PHP library and a web server package. Only that it completes with the framework needed to work with DB2 database.

Come to my shock, the Academic Initiative in MMU is really active due to its IT Society. Wow! I am greatly impressed. MMU successes in uniting its IT students into one community!

Now I wonder why UTP don’t have that. Can the UTP FOSS team work to unite the students? A challenge for you, Yondie and Kage!

Knowing UTP in and out giving me a sad feeling – people there seems not to acknowledge the power of knowledge (hmm.. that rhymes). I salute the efforts taken by Kage to write an open letter to the Rector, yet – no actions were taken. Nothing happened.

Such an ignorance. UTP has been too much in a comfort zone that the students being pampered too much on academic achievement that it creates a dull Jack and Jane. And even my efforts of bringing Academic Initiative to UTP is hard. I wrote emailold;">s with no response.

Emails to the lecturers and yet the lecturers keep thinking about how to achieve their KPI! Ignoring my emails!! Is PETRONAS doesn’t have something called “Value Add” ?? (This was a confession by the mere lecturers. Really. “Push it to the Programme Head, Sallehin. Else, the lecturers won’t do anything because its not in their KPIwinking

No offense to the worker of PETRONAS, anyway..

For now, I am still trying my best to reach them to get involved in IBM Academic Initiative. It just pathetic to see their students going to internship but not equipped with enough knowledge or skills. Sometimes, not even the right attitude too!

You think you can survive by being spoonfed ka?

*sigh*

Enough with the rantings. Wish me luck in these two things:

Presenting in MMU this coming Thursday
Bringing IBM Academic Initiative in UTP

P/s: Yondie, want to try IBM DB2 Express-C replacing your MySQL? winking Try installing it in Ubuntu or Fedora. Let me know your feedback. It’s free, so it’s still FOSS (okay, its FS. Not really OS in the middle tongue)