>>> Belittled <<<

September 29th, 2007 by [re-arrange] No comments »

First of all, thanks to all for the most count of comments at the previous post. That was a hit, and the biggest number of comments I’ve ever had for this blog. Never expected that the news could stir up quite a crowd. Lol!

And for those who cares, I am really at my best at this point of time. Thanks to all those supports that I’ve got, I am now over it. Took it as a lesson and a turning point for a bigger perspective. Things did turn out ugly, but I just cannot do anything more. Well, why should I cry over spilled milk, right?

Quote from Gomok: Sometime, change is everything…

But there’s only one thing that I can’t change, and I think will never change, because its the fire of me: I hate to be belittled, by anyone, for anything; belittling me only makes me lose respect towards him or her – and might as well provoke a provocative revengeful act from me.

Be it my parents, my siblings, or my friends, as well as my exes.. just don’t dare to belittle me, because I will prove it to you that I can and I take that as a challenge!

Maybe that’s my package – a big pride and big motivations to balance my small little figure.

Respects is something to be earned, and I don’t think that I should respect someone if he or she cannot respect me the way I do. Call me a self – centered arrogant, but that’s my vice that I live for. Why should I be feeling down for something when I can hold my heads high, true?

Blimey. Not that I cannot takes advises or something, but sometimes the lowlife is just worthless to be taken care of. Or heard of. Why should I hear the opinions of somebody who could use the opinions for himself/herself? Lol.

Enough with the blabbering. Some updates:

  • I got myself a couple of books and magazines worth RM68: “Life’s like that” by Lydia Teh, “Velocity” by Dean Koontz (yes I’m attracted to murder and life thingy! tongue), Home Finder magazine, as well as the latest Reader’s Digest. Really different things to get for Raya huh? tongue
  • A nice talk and meeting for sahur with Enol, Sean, En A, and Gajah. Even though its tiring (due to work’s hectic), I still find the times spent is priceless.
  • My plan for first home is bumping into roadblocks. Need to find a workaround. Again, never belittled me. If I want something really bad, I will sacrifice everything that I have to get it, no matter what.
  • Got to be ready for second take of DB2 730 exam!
  • Work’s hectic: really a lot of tickets to be settled, and some of it quite tough too. Its been quite a while since I’ve been digested in application development, so answering that tickets really needs a shining for a rusty skill.
  • And talking about rusty skill, I got my skill in PR (which was once a legend!) up and shining! big grin

Oh yeah, I’m planning to have a rack for my growing collection of books, novel, magazines, and comics (20+ novels, 100 to 200 comics, and uncountable magazines). Have anything in sight? Tell me about it!





>>> Even a doctor sometimes get sick.. <<<

September 14th, 2007 by [re-arrange] 38 comments »

This post maybe sounds so childish, but hey, that’s the fact that happened. Even a love doctor like me sometimes get sick of love itself.

And if I may proudly announces, that I am back to single status. Chunna, Mia, and people who thought that they can taste “nasi minyak” from me, sorry to let you down.

Don’t ask me why, even myself are not very sure what happened. It happened to be too fast, and too furious. Emotional versus emotional, anger versus anger, principal versus principal. In the end, the aftermath was quite bad. Okay I won’t share any details more than that.

I can only share some learning points from both sides:

1) Never hide your feelings. If you happened to be “memendam rasa”, better let it out in a well mannered situation. Don’t put it inside, don’t be a denial. And don’t go home and cry over the spilled milk.
2) Commitment mean sacrifice. If you cannot sacrifice some of your good time with friends whatsoever, never commit a commitment.
3) Everybody has their own bad side. Live with it.
4) Mistakes are something unavoidable. Learn from it.
5) Admittance and Acceptance. If you know that the jewel in front of you means a lot, then take the initiative to clean it up. Accept the value of the jewels; only clean it up, not trimmed it up, because it may break and shattered.
6) Give and Take, Friends and Lovers: definition.

====================================================================

FAQ

1) Is there a war or you’ve broken up with peace?
I’m sorry to say, yes there’s been a war. But I got to let it go with a peace treaty, because continuing the war only brings more casualties and no win to anybody. Sorry to say, I am a fighter and will fight even a meaningless war.

2) Who is actually to be blame?
I’m gonna admit that I’m the one who throw the bomb to start the war. Nevertheless, the war is there waiting to explode, and yes, both of us have our own part to be blame.

3) So what you’re going to do now?
I’m going to live my life as usual. Life need to go on, and hanging by the past memories isn’t good for me. I’m open for anyone to date now, anyone?

4) Does it hurt even to the Doctor Love?
Yes it hurts. I’ve taken many injuries and damages and just being warded off from the ICU of the Love Hospital. I’m also a human maa..

5) Do you love her actually?
Yes I do love her. I’m regretting the fact that there’s nothing more that I could done to save our relationship. I’ve tried my best, but it seems that it is not good enough. Well, there’s a saying that to love is to let go… you know the rest..

6) If the time decides that she comes back to you, will you accept her back?
I hate to play with uncertainty, and the same with time. As said above, I do love her, and I accept her for what she are, and who she are. But if the times destined and forced me to wait for her, no, I’ve giving up on that. If she comes back to me later, I will decide with my availability, my commitment, and my conditions to be able to marry her at that point of time. If I can, I’m more than willing to accept her back. If somehow I’m not available (say, I got someone else), or cannot give commitment (say, I’m too busy with my career), or my conditions are just too bad (say, I don’t have the money to marry her), then, I’m sorry I cannot accept her back.

====================================================================

That’s it people for this time.

To Miss Fazlina, I wish you good luck in your life. I am sorry for what I’ve done, intentionally or unintentionally. You know how much I love you, but it seems that we’ve taken wrong steps towards our relationships. I hope you don’t grief over the past time, and I hope you’ve learned your mistakes just as much as I did, and make it our own guidelines in our life to be more mature and be more wise. I also hope that both of us doesn’t have any revenges, or anymore anger left unsettled.

I wish you all the best things to happen to both of us. Thanks for the memories.

T_T





>>> Templates Changes <<<

September 1st, 2007 by [re-arrange] 4 comments »

Peeps,

I’m trying to learn the new templates using XML, and because of my laziness, I will use the free template available in the web, and customize it. But hell XML is sucks, even though it’s great, but it is hard to learn (or is it me that’s becoming too old?)

So don’t complain about the template for now. Still working on it.

Update: Work being halt. Designer’s block. Ckp la kot cmtuh. malas dah nak buat. lol.