That is, if you can. Heh..

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Another day starting. As a routine, I plugged the earphone into my ears, lit a cigarette, and walk away.

Why am I fighting to live, if I’m just living to fight..
Why am I trying to see, when there ain’t nothing in sight..
Why am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try..
Why am I dying to live, if I’m just living to die..

Tupac’s Running on the playlist. It put me on the thinking mode, trying to meddle with the cabinets of the mind, and gives me the strength to start my day.

Taking a peek to my phone, I saw the blurry image of mine smiling back to myself. Back in the childhood time, I remembered that was me; the one with pride and self-confidence – equipped with life’s principles and stands that makes me invulnerable. Chin up, soldier’s on. A thug.

I grew up a fuckin screw up..
Got introduced to the game, got a ounce and fuckin blew up..

People were asking me why I got over the last fucked up relationship so easily. I can still remember my conversation with one of my friend, K, who was wondering about it. Easy answer – I got principles. Everything that I do, or did, will always be things that I fully passionate. And I will pay the price of every decision that I take. Never regret.

At the finishing line, I am not at the losing end. She is.

Run from the police picture that, nigga I’m too fat
I fuck around and catch an asthma attack
That’s why I bust back, it don’t phase me
When he drop, take his glock, and I’m Swayze
Celebrate my escape, sold the glock, bought some weight
Laid back, I got some money to make, motherfucker!

The chorus really got me smiling. I know I am the jewel. I know I’ve got everything I want. I know I’ve manipulated the situation to all of my advantage. Never belittled me, remember?

You know, I wonder if they’ll laugh when I am dead..

I know I got back my own self. I know even if I die, I will be dead smiling, grinning over the vices and standing high by my own. “The Vow of Hate” left me standing high. Enough said.

We was young, and we was dumb but we had heart
In the dark when we survived through the bad parts
Many dreams is what I had, and many wishes
No hesitation in extermination of these snitches
So what can I do but stay true, and sippin 22′s n’ Brew?

The brews burning my cavity, giving me the sense of achievement ultimatum. A soothing emotion comes next and creates a grin. “The Vices” are complete.

I got my life together, none of my pieces need rearranging whilst the core of mine floating up. Sipping another shot, dragging another puffs, I know who my family is, and most importantly, who am I actually.

Gavin Degraw plays his masterpieces..

I’m surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by imposter’s everywhere I turn
I’m surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can’t be the only one who’s learned!

And I am tired of dealing with that kind of people. Low lifes. No stands. No achievement. Nothings. The one who should be dead, and yet still lingers around with shameless faces..

I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ’round rooms wondering what I’ve got to do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me

And I am proud to be me. The one who I myself suppress for years. I am a man of principles, I’ve completed the vice, and no one can ever change me. The core in me is hardening, the principles stands forward, and I looked down towards those low life’s. I have control over myself, I have control of my life, and I am the one who fucked those who’s not.

As my thoughts drifting, I stepped into my office with head hold high in the air….

Nobody’s a virgin because in the end.. life fucks us all…
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Full of words and no pictures? That’s my true intention and my truest ability.