I know I am going to piss off a lot of people with this, but I just need to vent this out of my system so it doesn’t bother me.

I SIMPLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY WOMEN ARE SO OBSESSED WITH LOSING WEIGHT WHILE THEY DON’T HAVE ANY EXCESSIVE WEIGHT TO BE LOST.

I can simply blame the media or Hollywood for this, but I can understand that naturally, human do want to be pretty. But who can really define pretty? It is said to be in the eyes of the beholder. Who the fuck told you that to be pretty you need to be skinny?

5 years ago, I started developing some weight over my belly where I proudly presented it to people as one of my milestone’s achievement. I have been thin and small all my life, and I am never happy with it.

It feels like you can be blown by the smallest breath. It makes you powerless; the targets of being bullied, no people listened to you, etc.

I take back the control of my body by simply lavishing my gluttony over various of cheap foods all over my university. As a result, two years later, I break the cap of 50kg in weight!

Freaking two years just to break the limit of 50kg!

Then what happened after I started working? Lots of expectation, lots of turmoil to be handled with (read: refer to my last two years of writing), and the same amount of time with other people while I am in obvious way need more time to control my life.

Result? I am back to under 50kg in only 3 months!!

FUCKING THREE MONTHS to lost the belly!

Am I happy with that? AN ABSOLUTE NO!

I love being the big belly penguin. People called me leprechaun (is that the direct translation of toyol? Big belly but short?), teddy bear, and all sort of similarities; but I can’t be happier. I like that. No, scratch that. I LOVE BEING CALLED THAT.

After all, who are they to judge that I need to be thin to feel happy?

I do not feel happy being thin. I longed to be back in my own shape just like 5 years ago.

So why is it that you women feel depressed and obsessed over weight loss? Why do you women need to throw us a tantrum when your weight is gaining? We men still loved you if we loved you; and you’re not FAT if your BMI is still normal!

My mom is now taking the diet milk and skip the dinner almost every night while she tries (miserably) to provide enough foods for all of her children. Yeah, she lose some insignificant weight, but what happened to us? Truth is; once you start dieting, you will effect those around you. My little twin brother used to make remarks (behind mom’s back):

Twin Lil Brother: Dok Muar lg best and kenyang, ada gk mende nak makan dari dok kat KL, takde mende langsung.

Now seriously women, do you really want your children to be like that?

Me myself has never asked ANY of my exes to be thin or to lose weight. Not even my friends.  I just loved them as they are. And there’s never a need for a tantrum over this kind of things.

*sigh*

End of rant.