You know.. I have my favourite numbers. Those who knows me well know its not seven. Those who knows me well know its before and after it. Those who knows me well knows the story behind it, and know how much I hate number seven up to the extent of asking this question:

” Why oh why there has to be a number in between my favourites… “

Somehow the years also was in my side. 1986 – I supposed to have a baby sister. 1987 – we lost her to God. 1988 – We got a replacement. 1996 – The economy is so well we live like kings and queens. 1997 – The worst economy downturn. 1998 – The best things ever happened in my family…

2006? All good things happened – internship, new love, new spirit. 2007? Everything come to an end – works not equal to intern, love shattered, the dark spirit returned, another skeleton in the closet. I am waiting to embrace 2008..

CSI-wise? Season 6 is the best season. Season 7 – hanging with Sara been under a car, left in the desert. Season 8? Great emotions and intellectual.. up until…

Episode 7 – Sara leaves CSI???????

What a curse number 7.

Sometimes I am superstitious towards these littlest unexplained things that looks coincidental. It gives me some neurological hinges that shakes the intellect values I’ve been embracing everytime..

I am still mourning over the loss of my greatest favourite tv-series to one intellectually-attractive CSI – Sara Sidle. The only tv-series that has been successfully makes me attached and followed it up until 8 season, with about 164 episodes. The only tv-series that I can watch with full attention without flinching even a bit. The only tv-series that I can watch while savouring my meals better, even though with goriest scenes…

Gil,

You know I love you. I feel I’ve loved you forever.

Lately I haven’t been feeling very well. Truth be told, I’m tired. Out in the desert, under that car that night, I realized something and I haven’t been able to shake it.

Since my father died, I spent almost my entire life with ghosts. We’ve been like close friends and out there in the desert, it occurred to me, that it was time for me to bury them. I can’t do that here.

I’m so sorry.

No matter how hard I try to fight it off, I’m left with a feeling that, I have to go. I have no idea where I’m going, but I know I have to do this. If I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll self-destruct, and worse, you’ll be there to see it happen. Be safe.

Know that I tried very hard to stay. Know that you are my one and only. I will miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I’ve ever really had. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I love you…I always will.

Goodbye…

I officially hate #7 for the rest of my entire life. Maybe I’m going to change my cell number too as to not including any 7.

T_T