Well people, its been a long time since I’ve wrote a real quality post huh? I’m sorry a lot, well, my love life has been happening with so many events, the goods, the bad, the romantic, all stuff. So if you find that my posts before these are so.. *muntah2* type (coz everything seems to be around the love topic), well, gimme the chance.. I’ve been single for about 3 years beb!!

So to give something different, here goes another topics: Transparency. I want to get out of the love topic, so I decided to take a peek at the thoughts of alter ego and the transparency of people, especially when blogging. (You want something about love? Go check this one: Love versus Money) How well do blogging reflects you? How real are you when writing a blog? How vulnerable are you when blogging? How do you keep secrets if you blogging?

I’ve been asked by some people to stop blogging; or at least put some discretion towards my own opinion or events that has happened. Contradict to my belief of saying everything out loud, right? I’ve always believed on free speech, rights of talks and that kinda thing. To me, when communication happened, there are two vital things; listen and acceptance. Try to accept things or how people thought it should be, then there shouldn’t be any war. Respect, that’s the most important thing when communicating with everybody. Your parents, your friends, your loved ones, anybody.

Well some people do have the tendency of keeping things shut in their heart; they don’t want to speak things out. When this happened, the chain reaction that will happened is a burst of emotion. Volcanic, I’d say. People just can’t live without saying things loud. If you keep it to yourself, then at some point, at some rate, you’ll burst. Burst into tears, angers; or may be homicidal!

That’s my belief. And sometimes, because I don’t want to hurt others real bad, I just blog about it. At least, I’d say that its a real good therapy for me. I express all my alter ego in blog. No ones get hurt physically. But when I blog about it, people say I’m vulnerable, I don’t have secrets, I’m being evil when blogging. For me, evil is in everybody’s blood. So, which one is more dangerous; being one who commit homicide to anguish their own inner evil, or being one who shows alter ego in their blog to express themselves about something? You tell me.

I may be transparent when I do my blogging, yet I do have secrets. Here’s a quote from the Conan manga:

Secrets make woman, woman..

Well I’m not a woman, thats for sure. But here’s the thing; didn’t it burden you to have some secrets that may be so big and pains you? Will you be able to keep sane every moments with the secret things you know? I can’t. I may not be the most heroic person that will care for each and every things that do hurt people around me; in fact, sometimes I’m too ignorant that I’ll just ignore things. But secrets, for people who consider one, I’ll do one from that two things: Ignore, or taking care of it. How am I taking care of it? One of the way is blog it, and see whats the other people responds, and their suggestions. Killing two birds with one stone huh? You get to let your feelings out, and you get people to suggest things to you what to do to keep you sane.

Well, why do you tell everything in your blog? asked some people..

Are you really sure that I tell everything? *grin* What I’m really sure is, I’m being me when writing a blog. Be it evil, sarcastic, childish, whatever you judge me. I do stands to this quote:

What we are is always the same, but who we are, will never stop changing

I change all the time. Sometimes I’m being evil. Sometimes I’m being angel. Sometimes I’m being a rascal. Whatever it is, only me knows what is the real me. What is the real inner me.

So blogging do reflects me in some way, but not all the way. Go and predict me, tell me I’m vulnerable, tell me I’m not reflecting my real self. Only me knows what am I. I can’t predict the future, so what’s so wrong of describing or expressing the things that has happened? That’s my stands.

Quoting like Genjo, taken from V for Vendetta:

“There are of course those who do not want us to speak. Why..? Because while the transient may be used to lure conversation, words will always retain their power. Words over the means to meaning and for those who listens the annunciation of truth..”

I do not fear blogging; whether to read, or to write. Do you?

P/s: Thanks to – my baby Fazlina (for the gifts, the wish, and for being my love), my dear Seren, Ina, Mangi, Yana, Kmar, Azie, Gajah, Sean, Wekap, Chuan, my cousin Kak Chik, Wanah, Kak Dayah, Akma, Linda, Fifie, Iena, Adek Nai, Helmi, Zhafran the Satan (hahahah!!), Itek, Snub, Enol, Kuzek, and anyone who hasn’t been put here but did wish me for my birthday, no matter whether via YM, Friendster, SMS, talk, or anything. I do appreciate it. And I do have the most wonderful birthday I ever had, at the age of 21. Thank you, thank you so much. *no words* *crying happily*