Hey its been a long time since my last update! About 1 month huh? I’ve been too busy with too much things; really going back to the hell. Yes I hate this place already.

Once I get back to this hell of UTP, I’ve been chased by the lecturers to help in organizing the Dean List Award *sigh* I hate it actually. Coz it’s not me who got the Dean List!! I’m very envy and jealous for that. Not only that, I’ve also been struggling to do the final internship reports (padan muka sape suh tak wat awal2). Then, comes the FYP proposal. In addition, the minor problem of pre-requisite courses. Then, the k5 moderating teams calls in. Then going back and forth to KL. Wow it’s really a busy moment.

However, that’s not the big thing to be blog about. Yeah it sucks; but that’s routine. I just find a videoclip of Teddy Geiger – Confidence (For You I Will); which I like the model (she’s cute – teehee). Ahh, about confidence, here’s the definition (again from www.dictionary.com):

con.fi.dence Pronunciation Key (knf-dns)
n.

1. Trust or faith in a person or thing.
2. A trusting relationship: I took them into my confidence.
3.
a. That which is confided; a secret: A friend does not betray confidences.
b. A feeling of assurance that a confidant will keep a secret: I am telling you this in strict confidence.
4. A feeling of assurance, especially of self-assurance.
5. The state or quality of being certain: I have every confidence in your ability to succeed.

adj.

Of, relating to, or involving a swindle or fraud: a confidence scheme; a confidence trickster.

Synonyms: confidence, assurance, aplomb, self-confidence, self-possession

These nouns denote a feeling of emotional security resulting from faith in oneself. Confidence is a firm belief in one’s powers, abilities, or capacities: “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face” (Eleanor Roosevelt). Assurance even more strongly stresses certainty and can suggest arrogance: How can you explain an abstruse theory with such assurance? Aplomb implies calm poise: “It is native personality, and that alone, that endows a man to stand before presidents or generals… with aplomb” (Walt Whitman). Self-confidence stresses trust in one’s own self-sufficiency: “The most vital quality a soldier can possess is self-confidence” (George S. Patton). Self-possession implies composure arising from control over one’s own reactions: “In life courtesy and self-possession… are the sensible impressions of the free mind, for both arise… from never being swept away, whatever the emotion, into confusion or dullness” (William Butler Yeats). See also synonyms at trust

I was said that I’m the one who got the highest confidence among the trainee back in IBM. Maybe because I wasn’t afraid to do the first presentation among the trainee; or maybe because I know things that I presented, so when doing my presentation I look confident. (I love IBM for its working environment; work hard in the things you like, and you’ll be damn good in other eyes). Yet, somebody struck me with a question: “How confident are you to start a relationship again?”

Fuck.

I do not know how confident I am to try starting a new relationship again. There are girls that I like; but each of it have different story to cope with: Seren with big responsibilities, Lilo with childish behaviour yet attractive, Ecah with the teasing that she can’t cope with.

But I think.. I fall in love with Fazlina..

(argh jiwa kacau.. next time2)