now that is what happened to me. that was my word that i scream to myself just when i review back my whole semester when i’m at home. Cruel fate huh? sometimes we can just blame the destiny when it doesn’t go by our way. lol

this were things happened to me : rejection, pressure, lost of confidence, ignored things, big responsibility lying ahead, death. not to forget how many side stories lying by my side when all this things were coming. lemme start with the rejection : 25 April 2005 – the day the truth comes to me. the day i found out i have been played. the day i know that yana, do in love with..not me!! worst thing worst..with my fren..shark! and another worst thing..i knew it from another frens, his roomate, jakas. omg..

yana is one of a kind of gurl that i have ever met.she’s unique in her own way. but that day ruined my life, my dream, my so-called “matured-decision-making-thinking”. i lost it in just one night. my fingers trembled when i wait for her confession. yeah..its true.and it happened in the hell week for IT/IS student. The week we are suppose to struggle completing our projects(mind the S..huhu). all my sacrifices..go down the drain just like dat.heh..

the most complicated thing is – they are not coupled, but their acts are more towards couple. i remember the day that i saw them in IRC(after the confession and our relations is not like before) “studying” together like hell!! all my concentration goes out, anger really controls me at dat time. oh by the way did i mention how i resolved the matter??hehe

i take precautions in controlling myself and my anger by avoiding her for 5 days(and trying to complete my stupid duck for CG project, which cost me 3 nites not sleeping but end up for 8/20 marks only..huhu). and on the fifth day, i see her at night at old v5 cafe, where i tell her all i my feelings toward what has happened, and where i said i think her as a “bitch”. how can i avoid that feelings when she hv been flirting like hell wimme but ended up flirting with others TOO and fall in love with another man who is..my fren. it cost me 2 things : my own fren which later i cannot go face him and yana itself. on that day, i asked her to choose : me, shark or nothing.

3 days later, she asked to see me. its earlier then my plan coz i give her 6 days to think it over. and the result : as expected, she didn’t choose me. at first she choose none. she choose nothing. but then, she choose shark. demmit! i cant easily be fooled. thanks to all my experience with my ex-gf back then, where i learnt all the psychology towards woman, including body language.heh..

and that’s it. i choose to keep her as a friend only, with a limit of “sis-bro”. well it all goes like hell. a “sis-bro” relation is only an excuse for me to back-off i think.at this time, i think that it all will be over, but the consequences is not as easy as it can be said. i developed “revenge”. i dunno how to execute that revenge, but sincerely..i will give them a hell of revenge someday! even my nick at that time change to BlazeZakuPhantomChaosRevenge ……

to be continue..

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